One hell of a show
by terig
Summary: [At the time no one was entirely sure how it all started. Some said it was because of a dare, others thought it was a glitch, and a few simply latched onto the idea that if they hadn't seen it then it hadn't happened.] Or the one where Prowl can pole dance. PROWLXJAZZ
**A/N: The original prompt for this story was "no" and I ended up veering off in a** ** _completely_** **different direction but I have to say, I REGRET NOTHING AND EVERYTHING.**

 **There are some slightly suggestive themes in this fic.**

 **The dance is inspired by this video www . youtube watch? v=nnz7LG6BnwE (remove the spaces obviously!)**

 **Read Up!**

At the time no one was entirely sure how it all started. Some said it was because of a dare, others thought it was a glitch, and a few simply latched onto the idea that if they hadn't seen it then it hadn't happened.

Unfortunately for the latter members of that list, the matter was entirely true and at some point they would be forced to witness it and then proceed to crash because who knew Prowl could do _that?_

It all started a week ago when the autobots had managed to foil yet another one of Megatron's weak plans to destroy the earth... by blowing up the sun. The plan was getting old by this point seeing as the decepticon warlord had already tried and failed multiple times now with this particular tactic.

The decepticon forces had been hit badly by the battle: their second in command Starscream had suffered quite considerable damage to his wings thanks to some jet judo courtesy of the twins. Even Megatron himself had suffered some nasty wounds during his routine one-on-one time with Optimus in the battle.

To celebrate the temporary respite the twins had managed to convince Optimus to let them have a party in the rec room. Their leader had agreed as he believed the light celebration would be good for morale. And it was, just not in the way he had initially assumed.

It's the day of this party that our true story begins...

"Jazz I honestly say this in the nicest way possible but you are by far the most annoying mech I have ever had the misfortune of being associated with."

"Aw come on Prowler don't be that way!"

Prowl frowned at the ridiculous nickname that Jazz had taken to calling him and sighed. This discussion had been going on now for almost a joor and he was getting sick and tired of repeating himself. This happened every time the Ark decided to hold a community event; Jazz would ask Prowl if he was going, Prowl would say no and Jazz would then proceed to argue with him on the matter for the longest amount of time possible until he _finally_ accepted Prowl wasn't going to come and then headed off on his own.

Why the saboteur did this every single time was beyond Prowl. The mech just got ideas into his processor and latched onto them. It was a highly useful characteristic for Prowl when he convinced Jazz to use it on others to benefit Prowl's work and the autobot cause, but it was a pure hindrance when it was directed at him.

"Jazz you know I am never one for social events, I never have been." Prowl was running out of patience fast and Jazz clearly detected this as his whole frame slumped in defeat.

"Ah know Prowler," Prowl focused his attention on Jazz's response, or more importantly his tone. "Can't blame a mech for tryin'. Ah'll see ya round then Prowl."

With that Jazz whirled around and was out the door. Something in Prowls spark twinged as he watched the saboteur walk away from him. Normally in these situations Jazz would eventually accepted Prowls desire to remain absent at parties and left laughing, it was almost like a game the two of them played. Jazz would chase Prowl into social situations and Prowl would do everything in his power to avoid attending.

Yet this time Jazz had seemed genuinely upset that Prowl wasn't going to show up. Which is an oddity in itself because Jazz was friends with practically everyone on the Ark, the mech just had that many different sides to him that he could get along with anyone. It wasn't as though Prowl's presence would be missed at all by the saboteur because the mech would get lost in the sea of friends around him and forget that Prowl was even absent.

If that was the case then why did Prowl have this annoying sense of doubt in the back of his processor? The tactician sighed again and thunked his head against his desk in guilt. Seeing Jazz so disappointed over him made the tactician feel like slag, a few joors of socialisation wouldn't do him any harm...

Blaringly loud music was the first thing that assaulted his sensors; Blaster really was living up to his designation as the bot nodded his head along to the beat of the song he was currently playing through the rec rooms audio system.

The rec room looked entirely different to how it did on an everyday basis. A large stage had been set up at the back of the room; it was where Blaster was currently perched. The communications mech looked like he was entranced in the music as he watched the screen displaying his digital mix table before his optics.

The lights had been completely shut off and the only form of illumination came from the small spot light on the stage Blaster had so he could see and a few strobe lights that flashed about the room, creating a constant swirl of colour. The tables and chairs that were normally scattered throughout the centre of the room were now pushed to the side and were covered in various drinks and energon treats. The booths that were built into the walls were filled with mechs all laughing and drinking; but one of the more noticeable differences was the curtains. A total of two booths had their entries concealed by long purple velvet robes and when Prowl listened hard enough he swore he could hear the faint sounds of moaning emitting from behind them, but he couldn't be sure.

Perhaps the thing that enraptured Prowls attention the most was the slim silver pole that was fixated to the floor and ceiling in the dead centre of the rec room. No one was on the pole, heck no one was on the dance floor, or what Prowl assumed was the dance floor seeing as the mechs had gone to the effort to remove all the tables from it to clear as much space as possible. The way the lights flashed across the pole made it look unbearably enticing to Prowl and the desire to get on it was so strong that he found himself walking towards it.

Prowl would have kept moving forward if it weren't for a pair of servos suddenly grasping his shoulder plates.

"Prowler mah man I can't believe it! Ya actually came!" Jazz's tone could only be compared to that of a sparkling on Christmas day, he seemed so genuinely happy to see Prowl that the tactician was at a momentary loss for what to say. Luckily that didn't seem to be a problem for Jazz.

"Mech come on 'nd join us at our humble little table over here." Jazz pointed over to his right where a table of four other bots were sat merrily chatting away whilst they waited for Jazz to return. Prowl looked back to Jazz and nodded his head before moving off in the direction of the table and its occupants.

Prowl found himself seated between Jazz, who was on his right, and Sunstreaker who was on his left. Going clockwise round the table next to Sunny was naturally Sideswipe, then Smokescreen and lastly Ironhide. Each of the mechs present looked as though they'd already had a considerable amount of high grade in their systems which just seemed to make the mechs louder than usual.

Once properly settled in Smokescreen began to speak up.

"Alright mechs listen up! You have two choices right now; we can either play poker," Ironhide let out a loud groan at that which caused Sunstreaker to let out a chuckle next to him, "or we could play another human game called 'Truth or Dare'. Take your pick, although I think we all know which one Ironhide is going to chose."

Every member of the group laughed at that little joke. "No way in the pit am I playing that primus forsaken game after last time, Sunny and Sides robbed me blind and I don't feel like repeating that so I vote for the other one."

A loud cheer of agreement followed Ironhide and they came to the conclusion that they were going to play 'truth or dare'. Smokescreen explained the rules quickly to the members present and then they were off.

Prowl felt a little awkward initially if he was honest with himself. He wasn't used to taking part in such childish and illogical games and only for the fact he was currently trapped between two mechs he probably would have slipped off by now. But as it stood Prowl was stuck with no other option than to suck it up and take part.

A little over a joor had passed by and Prowl found himself pleasantly buzzed and relaxed as he finished off his 3rd high grade. He was openly showing his amusement at the groups antics and the entertainment these 'dares' were providing was certainly something. Up until now Prowl had stuck with truths simply because he didn't want to risk embarrassing himself too much, something the other members of the table clearly weren't concerned with.

Prowl turned his attention to Smokescreen who was in the middle of his dare at the moment; the bot had been dared to down his glass of high grade and was currently succeeding without issue. When the last drop of energon had filtered out of the glass he proudly slammed it down onto the table with a slag eating grin on his faceplates.

Next to go was Ironhide who also chose dare and then had to spend the next 10 minutes lying on his side with his helm resting in one servo whilst shouting "Paint me like one of your French girls" to any bot that walked within the vicinity of him. Prowl didn't get the reference but he did find it amusing none the less.

Next came Jazz's turn who surprisingly chose truth. "Urgh mech come on really! I was certain you'd choose a dare, I had the perfect one planned out and all." Sideswipe stuck his bottom lip plate out like a sparkling would and Prowl snorted at the sight which caused Sideswipe to stick his tongue out at Prowl in response.

"Sorry Sides but ah think it's time ah had a truth." Jazz grinned at the red twin before taking a sip of his high grade whilst he waited for his truth to come.

"Who at this table would you most like to frag?" Sunstreaker was the one to finally ask the question, sensing his twin's loss for what to ask. Jazz took a look around the members of the table, quickly scanning each of them up and down before moving to the next. When his gaze finally landed on Prowl the tactician felt his faceplates heat up at the unabashed attention Jazz was giving to his frame.

"Hmm tough question Sunny but ah'd 'ave to go with Prowler here." Prowl's vents hitched at the thought of Jazz's frame pressed up against his and found himself irrationally turned on by the thought. "Ah mean ah ain't really one for fragging sparklings after all and y'all are jus' far too young for mah."

Smokescreen burst out laughing at that remark and Sunstreaker reached behind Prowl to smack Jazz on the back of his helm, throwing some snide comments about how Jazz wouldn't be able to keep up with him before gulping down half his drink. Prowl snickered to himself and continued to drink away at his high grade; arousal dismissed as he accepted Jazz's joke.

"Alrighty now it's time for Prowler tah take his turn. It's pointless asking by this point but what tha heck; truth or dare?"

Prowl didn't even stop to think, he acted on impulse. "Dare."

With that one word our stories fate is sealed.

A chorus of "ooohs" and "ahhhs" echoed his response as Jazz blinked his optics at Prowl in shock before a huge grin split across his faceplates.

"I have it! Prowl I so have your dare!" Sideswipes excited bouncing and cheering caught everyone's attention and all the bots turned their helms to gaze and the red frontliner.

"Prowl, I dare you to pole dance!"

If not for the music that was still blaring away throughout the room Prowl had no doubt that the silence would have been overwhelming. Prowl should have said no, that's clearly what everyone present was expecting him to say. Instead Prowl found himself standing up and shocking everyone.

Prowl couldn't explain it but ever since he'd laid eyes on the pole in the centre of the room he'd been desperate to get on it and just let loose. He politely nudged Jazz and asked him to move. The saboteur did as he'd asked and allowed Prowl to slip past. At the last second Jazz grabbed his wrist and pulled the tactician towards him.

"Prowler ya don't have tah do this y'know?" Jazz's concern made Prowl smile.

"I know." With that Prowl was off.

As he walked past the pole he looked at it firmly, he was immensely pleased to see it wasn't just an ordinary pole but rather a spinning pole. Whoever had put this in place clearly went all out and Prowl couldn't be more excited.

Making his way to the stage was easy seeing as no mech had yet to enter the dance floor. Good, that's just what he wanted. He stepped up onto the stage and crossed the floor until he was by Blasters side. He tapped the DJ's shoulder strut, causing the mech to turn and look at him in confusion.

"Prowl, how can I help ya?" The mech looked so painstakingly confused that Prowl just laid it out straight for him. Maybe it was his desperation to get on the pole or the high grade currently coursing through his veins or a mixture of both. Either way he simply said what he had to in order to get his way.

"I want you to play a song for me. That's it; don't ask why because you'll see soon enough. Just play it when I ping you okay?"

Blaster nodded his helm in understanding and Prowl leaned in to whisper the song to him and then quickly moved off stage to get into position.

Once he was suitably hidden in the shadows of the room he pinged Blaster to start the music.

The slow keys of the piano picked up and Prowl took that as his cue to start. He measured his steps to the beat of the piano keys, seductively crossing his way to the centre of the room where the pole was positioned. He placed his left servo on the pole and slowly began to circle around it. He gently swung his right leg out and around the pole, crossing it over his left one and smoothly landing on his right pede whilst his left leg continued with its momentum to land gracefully behind his right.

He remained in that posed position while the lyrics to "crazy in love" started to kick in. Prowl walked to his left and away from the pole whilst swaying his hips, only to return moments later. He circled around the pole once more; placing his right servo at helm level on the pole he held his left arm behind himself and slowly sank halfway down until it looked like he was seated on some invisible chair, his thighs spread apart sensually.

Prowl flung his head to the left and his left servo trailed up the side of his thigh to rest on his hip. He was dimly aware of all the optics on him but in this moment all he cared about was the comforting feel of the poles smooth cool surface against the palm of his servo.

The tactician began to circle the pole once more, twirling his body every now and then during his calm measured walk.

 _You got me looking, so crazy my baby._

Prowl placed his right servo at helm level once more and then his left servo gripped the pole at chest height, before he began to seductively sway his hips from right to left of the pole, moving downwards with each movement. Placing his left leg out straight in front of him he tipped his body backwards and then swayed forward until he was upright and stalking around the pole. He hooked his left leg around the pole and poised his right leg out straight as he held his body off the ground, all while the pole twirled with him attached.

Prowl then brought his right leg back and grabbed it with his right servo, allowing the momentum to continue his spin whilst he held his body perfectly still and on the pole with only his left servo and leg. He was aware of the sound of several cooling fans whirring to life around him, but he blocked it all out in favour of immersing himself in the music.

 _Baby you're making a fool of me, you got me sprung and I don't care who sees cause baby you got me, you got me._

Prowl slid down the pole until his knees hit the ground and he brought his chest down onto the floor before leaning back up and stepping round the pole on his knees.

 _You got me. You got me._

He took a firm hold on the pole with both hands and placed his pedes far apart before pulling himself upright using the pole as leverage, his thighs spreading apart as he did so once more.

 _I look and stare so deep in your eyes._

Prowl grabbed hold of the pole above his helm and pulled himself up so his pedes no longer touched the ground and swung around the pole elegantly. He used his momentum to swing his legs above his helm and locked his left knee around the pole whilst his right servos moved downwards so that he was being held half upside down.

With a skill he didn't know he posed Prowl contorted his body until he was horizontal and facing the ground, the only thing holding him up was the strength of his thighs grip on the pole. He spun around in this position for a moment before bringing his right leg down until his pede touched the ground and he was able to begin circling the pole again.

 _You got me looking so crazy right now. Your love's got me looking so crazy right now._

Prowl again found his body directing him up the pole until he was perfectly positioned so that his knees were together while his body was sideways, the strength between his knees and chest holding him in the stance for a moment before he lowered himself once more.

His legs followed the rhythm of the music as they crossed over one another and caused his hips to sway seductively to the large audience he now found himself the attention of. But there was only one mech he wanted this tactic to have an effect on. Spinning and twisting his body to the beat; he twirled around the pole with such ease and grace that no one would think it had been millennia since he had even entertained the idea of doing this.

When he was much younger, before he even had his battle computer installed, Prowl was actually quite a fun mech. He enjoyed going to the odd party and trying new things at least once. That was the reason he'd found himself attending a pole dancing lesson one day all those years ago.

Turns out he had a natural talent at it and so he learnt everything there was to know about the sport very quickly and soon had no reason to keep attending the lessons. He had enjoyed every moment of the activity but never got the chance to do it again because not long after he stopped his lessons there were whispers of a war going on. He had his battle computer installed not long after that and soon the notion of pole dancing was long forgotten.

Until now of course.

 _Got me looking so crazy right now, your love's got me looking so crazy right now._

Prowl swung his body upwards, carrying the momentum the whole way through until he was completely suspended upside down, right leg crossed over the pole and holding him up while his left leg was pointed out perfectly straight. He tipped his helm back and looked at the mech surrounding him.

For a few cycles of the pole Prowl remained in this fixed position, optics darting about as he tried to catch sight of the one mech who's reaction to this display actually mattered to him. Finally he caught sight of a blue visor completely fixated on his form as he rigidly held onto the pole. Even from this distance Prowl could clearly see the desire burning behind that visor.

Smirking slightly he reached upwards and grasped the pole with his right servo and brought himself back into an upright position. His pedes hit the ground and he immediately went into a hunkered position, legs splayed on either side of the pole before gently rising and circling around one more time.

The song was coming to a close and Prowl was determined to end on a high note and so without thought on how to carry the move out Prowl turned to face the pole, grasped it with his right hand and twisted his body round until the pole was on his right. With his servo still firmly in place Prowl made optic contact with Jazz across the room before he spread his pedes, thrust his hips forward and lowered himself to the ground using only the pole in his right servo to stop him falling. The manoeuvre meant he was lying with his back flat against the floor and his legs splayed open.

The song ended and Prowl remained on the ground. His processor was spinning with adrenaline and his vents were panting loudly. No music started up again so the only sound in the room was the whirring of several mechs fans running on high. Clearly he wasn't the only one affected by the dance, but they weren't the ones he wanted to be affected by it.

A servo was suddenly in front of his face and Prowl looked at it a moment before grasping it, allowing himself to be hoisted upright. Going so many years without practice clearly had its affects on his body as Prowls legs felt like liquid and he swayed dangerously on them once he was back on his pedes. The mech holding his servo quickly manoeuvred himself so that his arm was wrapped around Prowls waist whilst the tacticians left arm was flung over their shoulder.

Prowl looked to his left and found himself face to face with Jazz who was practically drooling and was hot to touch, a clear sign that Prowl had the exact effect on Jazz that he wanted.

Once again acting on instinct Prowl crushed his lips to Jazz's in a fierce kiss. For so many years he'd ignored his attraction to the saboteur and he was sick of hiding his feelings. Jazz gasped at the unexpected kiss and this gave Prowl the opportunity to slip his tongue into the mechs mouth.

Prowl couldn't tell how much time had passed, it could have been a second or an hour, but right now he didn't care. All he cared about was the way Jazz was gently nibbling on his bottom lip and his servo was stroking up and down Prowls backstrut.

Eventually the pair pulled away and looked at one another.

"Tha was one hell of a show mah mech." Jazz's voice was laced with lust induced static and Prowl decided there and then that he absolutely loved that sound.

"I had to get your attention somehow." Prowl gently teased back. Jazz slapped his shoulder affectionately as he laughed.

"Ya already had it ya doof! Buh don't get me wrong," Jazz purred in the back of his throat, "I would love a private show."

Prowl smirked down at Jazz and kissed him once more before nodding his helm at the door. The pair walked out through the door teasing each other as they went and bringing reality crashing down on everyone else present.

Everymech in the room knew what was about to happen, it was something they had all predicted would happen eventually. They just never imagined it would happen so publically, and especially not because of Prowl being some pole dancing master.

The sound of a body hitting the floor cut through the silence and everyone turned to look at the crashed form of Sideswipe lying in a heap off to the side of the room.

After the party things went back to normal; the only difference being that Prowl and Jazz would sneak kisses during work or in the rec room. That and the fact there were a lot more night time disruptions around base due to some "noise related issues".

But no one could really complain. Not seriously anyways. Prowl was finally happy and anyone with optics could see that. Sure the mech was still completely by the book and generally stoic in his everyday attitude, but now he actually went into the rec room every now and then for reasons other than just refuelling. He actually came in to talk to mechs for a while and the change was entirely welcomed by all.

Oh, and there was one more change. Every year on the anniversary of Prowl and Jazz getting together the bots would play the video of Prowl dancing in the rec room while the two lovers were otherwise occupied in their own quarters.

Thank primus Optimus was there to catch the video.

 **The End.**

 **A/N: There you have it! I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did writing it and I hope you appreciate the 4 hours I spent staring at this screen, typing furiously whilst repeatedly rewinding that video so I could see what the woman was doing.**

 **Peace**

 **~Terig**


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